


Peacetime

by thinlizzy2



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: AU: Damar lives, F/M, Getting Together, Pining, Post-Canon, Post-Canon Cardassia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2020-02-14
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:28:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22618630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thinlizzy2/pseuds/thinlizzy2
Summary: Damar becomes the leader of Cardassia following the Dominion War and finds himself in charge of rebuilding a devastated world. His communication with Kira both helps and complicates matters.
Relationships: Damar/Kira Nerys
Comments: 8
Kudos: 48
Collections: Chocolate Box - Round 5





	Peacetime

**Author's Note:**

  * For [rudigersmooch](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rudigersmooch/gifts).



> Rudigersmooch, I've wanted to write something like this forever. When I saw your prompts, I just couldn't help myself. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it!

On the week of Damar's official inauguration, Bajor sends gifts. 

They are not alone in that; a few other worlds have seen fit to send tributes and well-wishes, though the parcels are fewer and lighter than they would have been for the appointment of a new Chief Kornaire had Cardassia not been the outcast world of the Alpha Quadrant. But Bajor's offering stands out among the others for two reasons. 

The first is that, hidden among the traditional cultural offerings of teas, moba fruit, wood carvings and copal, are things the damaged Cardassian worlds actually need. Bajor has sent the components to replicate vaccines, disinfectants and emergency rations, vitamin patches, lightweight but durable power cells and more. The boxes with these goods are buried deep at the bottom of the containers of fripperies. They are well-hidden from any malicious press officers who, loyal to the past regime, might be snooping about for tidbits to make Damar look weak. They are alms given freely, from a society that knows all too well what it is like to have to rebuild from devastation, to one that is only beginning to learn that lesson. 

Bajor's gift feels like, if not absolution, then perhaps the seeds of forgiveness. For Damar, bowed beneath the heavy twin yokes of exhaustion and duty, they seem like a lifeline.

The second thing that makes Bajor's present extraordinary is the note. Accompanying the florid and empty words of the First Minister is a simple letter, written in a hand that Damar knows well. He has seen this writing in countless scrawled messages from times when his little resistance cell had been separated but needing to communicate. 

_Damar: if anyone can do this, it's you._

No more than that, but Kira Nerys's confidence in him means more than any other foreign support Damar has received so far. This is a woman who has seen him rendered utterly powerless - who rendered him powerless herself on one memorable occasion. And yet, she somehow believes in his strength. He sits in his office, barren and cold by traditional Cardassian standards but luxurious compared to what most have now. And he rereads her missive again and again. 

"Kind of her", Garak remarks, when Damar finally decides to show him the message. His First Assistant's tone generally makes everything sound somewhat laden and sarcastic, but Damar chooses to believe that he is sincere this time. "If not overly verbose. What shall we reply?"

"Send the First Minister official thanks", Damar decides. "Use Template 7." He likes the wording of that one - appreciative but not obsequious. He reclaims Kira's letter from Garak. "I'll respond to the Colonel personally."

He opts to ignore Garak's raised eyebrows as he turns to go.

***

The Breen are causing problems.

This is not unexpected; they are an aggressive species by nature, and the only ones besides Cardassia in the Alpha Quadrant to have to bear the burden of having supported the losing side in the Dominion War. But Damar had, perhaps naively, hoped that their shared embarrassment over their collaboration and loss could, at the very least, drive them to allow each other space and time to recover in relative peace.

Apparently not.

The Founders' favoring the Breen meant that they had suffered far fewer losses in manpower than the Cardassians. The result of this is that of the two quadrant pariahs, the Breen are now the ones in the position of greater power. Additionally, they blame the new Cardassian government for convincing the military to switch sides at a key point in battle, robbing them of a victory that would have elevated them to the dominant species in the area. The fact that Damar himself had been entirely unaware of the switch as it was happening makes no difference to them. All of that combined means that they are more than happy to lean hard on the Cardassians to replace the trade losses that the new status quo has created.

Damar finds himself at a loss. Cardassia has so little to spare at the moment. And the terms that the Breen are forcefully "proposing" could impoverish their world for decades. But they also cannot afford another war. It would be the end of them.

In desperation, Damar puts out tentative feelers to all the major figures in the Alpha Quadrant. It hurts him to do it; grovelling does not come easily to him. But he reminds the foreign governments that they have nothing to gain by allowing the Breen to amass strength, and that the Cardassia that they will be helping is not the same Cardassia that collaborated with the Dominion. He requests mediation if outright help is not possible.

Most do not bother to reply at all. Of those that do, some are curt refusals and others are more delicately worded versions of the same. It seems that the Alpha Quadrant has generally decided to let the chips fall where they will between their two least-beloved worlds. When even the Federation declines to get involved, citing a moral imperative to allow the situation to develop organically without outside interference, Damar swallows the very last of his pride and appeals to Bajor for help.

The response comes almost immediately, not through official channels but from Kira Nerys herself. 

_Refuse. Refuse outright. We'll support you._

He writes back with matching speed. Is she certain? Is the Bajoran government willing to truly commit to the assistance they'll need if a full denial of Breen demands triggers violence? Do they even have the resources to help?

The response is simple, and exactly what he needs to hear: _You have my word. Yes._

Among the many things Damar learned about Kira during their time as comrades in arms is the fact that a promise from her is as good as a signed treaty. So he takes the risk, calls for a meeting with the Breen delegates and looks all of them in the places in their helmets where he assumes their eyes are hidden. He tells them that Cardassia is in no position to enter an agreement such as the one which they are proposing now, and that he cannot ever foresee a time when the Cardassian government would ever agree to the terms they want. Halfway through their threats and posturing, he recognizes the situation for what it is: pure bluff. The Breen are most likely no better equipped than Cardassia for outright conflict; they had merely hoped to intimidate him so much that he wouldn't realize that until it was too late. He feels his shoulders set and his spine straighten. He tells them his answer over and over again, just for the joy of saying it - _no, no, NO_.

Once they have gone, he allows himself two small pleasures as rewards. First, he opens a bottle of the spring wine that the Bajoran government sent for his inauguration. He hasn't touched it until now, but he pours himself a full glass. Second, he calls the message with Kira's promise of support up on his PADD again. In a moment of sheer self-indulgence, he strokes his fingers over her words as he rereads them. Then, toasting someone who isn't there, he drinks deeply.

***

Damar hadn't intended to begin an ongoing personal correspondence with Colonel Kira. He'd merely wanted to express his gratitude for her support. But she responds to his message with another, and soon they fall into a pattern of sending advice, observations and even idle thoughts across the quadrant. Perhaps she knows, as only she could, that the life of a soldier thrust into public leadership is a gnawingly uneasy one. Damar needs someone with whom he can simply be himself, even if they never again meet in person and even though they generally favor text over using live comms.

Or maybe she is more pragmatic than that; it's fully possible that by cultivating a role as his unofficial advisor, Kira Nerys simply seeks to ensure that Cardassia continues to develop in a way that she finds pleasing. He doesn't blame her for that, if it is her true motivation. On the contrary, he admires it. 

A third option is that their correspondence serves the same purpose in her life that it does in his; after all, many of her Starfleet friends have moved on and her shape-shifting lover has gone. It's conceivable that she is simply as lonely as he is.

He was stunned to learn of Odo's departure. If Damar had a woman like Kira Nerys, he would _never_ \- no. He stops the thought before it can fully form. No good can ever come from allowing his mind to wander that way. And at any rate, he knows as well as anyone how a sense of loyalty to one's homeworld can drive a man to sacrifice everything.

So he doesn't mention Odo in his messages. Instead, at first he just sends her updates on the rebuilding of the factories in Debara city and the reformation of the energy production council. Before long, he finds himself writing to her about the mind-numbing boredom of the governance committee meetings, the particular sneer the new Romulan envoy frequently adopts, the ridiculous pride that he feels when he discovers that he has finally found the perfect wording for a trade agreement with the Klingons. And she writes to him about station gossip, the new businesses opening on the Promenade, the little developments and triumphs on Bajor that are no doubt intended to remind him that the impossible can and often does happen. Frequently, she rants to him: the Vedeks' council are being unreasonable and the new engineer Starfleet sent to replace Miles O'Brien is less than useless. Perhaps it's contrary of him, but Damar likes the complaints best. He smiles as he reads them, and almost feels like he has a friend with whom he can be candid.

When he receives notice that a new strain of Lergan Flu is affecting the Rederia province on Bajor, he hurries with somewhat embarrassing speed to offer help. After all, he writes, it was Cardassia that introduced the virus to Bajor in the first place; he would like to do his duty by sending aid.

He tries not to be offended by her rejection of the offer. Bajoran and Starfleet medical authorities have things well under control, she assures him. She doesn't point out that Cardassian resources are currently stretched to their limits, and that the flu season is on its way there as well. She doesn't need to. Diverting resources to Bajor would have been a controversial move and one that could have cost him political favor. He should be grateful for her refusal.

But when he sees her on a news broadcast with the beginnings of the telltale Lergan blue circles on her neck, he decides not to care about that. He finds a preposterously flimsy pretext to send his personal physician to Bajor on a research trip and packs the man's luggage with as many doses of the antiviral as he can safely carry through interplanetary customs. Kira never mentions her own illness, let alone the doctor's visit, but the next time he sees her image her skin is clear and she glows with good health.

Damar allows himself a small smile at the sight. _She's so beautiful_ , he thinks, as he always does when he gets to see her face. He realizes, a moment too late, that he has forgotten to censor himself. But perhaps he simply can't be bothered to waste that effort anymore. Instead, he reaches for his PADD and opens a new letter to send to her.

***

_You're going to see some things on newsfeeds,_ Kira writes to Damar one day. _I don't want you to get the wrong idea. It's pure political theater, but it's necessary._

It's not long before he knows what she means. Bajoran election campaigns begin in earnest, and suddenly she is everywhere Shakaar Edon goes: standing behind him as he makes his official bid for relection, at his side at numerous benefits and fundraisers, smiling up at him as he announces his latest favourable poll numbers with one hand at her waist. Damar may not like it, but he understands it. Shakaar's major political rival is an isolationist who supports a reduced Starfleet presence and a withdrawal of Bajor's bid to enter the Federation. Kira is a popular public figure on Bajor; clear evidence of her support could make a real difference in Shakaar's chances.

It still grates on Damar.

It occurs to him, late one night, that she had known it would. That was why she had taken the time to warn him; if she hadn't known he'd be upset by the suggestion of a rekindled closeness between the two of them she wouldn't have bothered. Has he been so obvious then? He supposes he must have been, at least to someone who knows him so well.

And then he remembers her words. _I don't want you to get the wrong idea._ Damar cannot help but wonder why not. If she knows about his affections, and he can at least admit to himself that he has them, then why wouldn't she want him to think she was unavailable? It would be an ideal way to discourage an unwanted admirer, after all. The only answer is ridiculous, but his heart seizes upon it and clings to it with determination.

One thing that his life has taught him so far is that hope can be very hard to kill.

***

There are elements of his public life that Damar finds tiresome, but the creation and dedication of the Tekenhy Ghemor Memorial Garden has not been one of them. Although he is uncomfortable with the idea of making idols out of political figures, he has come to greatly respect Ghemor's legacy. He and Kira have spent many enjoyable hours on the comms, talking about the man Ghemor was, what mattered to him, and why he deserved commemoration. And the garden itself is beautiful.

Damar had hired the very best Cardassian botanical experts to make it so. Shimakra vines climb the stone walls and dark lush mekliams are blooming everywhere. A small waterfall tumbles into a pool filled with iridescent gost fish. The Cardassian media has been enamored with the place for weeks, citing it as a sign that Cardassia has finally reached a place in its recovery where it can concern itself with beauty again. Damar isn't sure about that; the garden has essentially consumed all the money for public beautification that the government could spare for at least the next quarter. But it's been more than worth it in terms of morale.

No one has mentioned the slender oval shapes of the various plots, a layout more typical to Bajor than it is to Cardassia. Perhaps no one has even noticed this subtle tribute to the world to which Ghemor spent much of his life trying to make restitution.

Except for the woman by Damar's side.

"It's perfect", Kira remarks as they stop to rest beneath the shade of a blooming Kambal willow. "He would have loved it."

"I wish I could have shown you the gardens in Lakarian city." Damar tells her. "They were works of art, perfect jewels. This isn't much, by comparison. But it's the best we could do under the circumstances." 

"And that's what makes it perfect. That it couldn't be everything you wanted, but you did it anyway and you made it beautiful." 

It has been a long time since Damar has felt so thoroughly understood, and it makes something inside him continuously unclench.

"I'm so glad you got to see it."

They dine privately, at his home. Damar is pretty sure his hasperat soufflé is bland by her standards, but she praises it nonetheless. They drink the last of his spring wine reserve as the sun comes up, and he feels a stirring panic as he realizes that she's due to leave in a few more hours.

"Stay." The request escapes him, unplanned. "Please stay."

Kira smiles sadly as she lays her glass down. Nothing about her at this moment suggests surprise. Only resignation. "As what, Damar? What could I possibly be here?"

"My advisor? My counselor?" It's all useless. The Cardassian public would never accept her in any sort of official role. "My friend?" He has never kissed her, never touched her intimately, never spoken to her of love, never even used her given name. But the spring wine, and the beauty of the previous day and night, and the sheer reality of her presence after so long apart all conspire to make him helpless against his honest desires. "My everything."

He is not sure what to expect in response to that, but Kira's sudden proximity, the warm touch of her lips and her body leaning into his are far better than anything he could have imagined. It's just a whisper of a kiss, a brush of contact, but it's more from her than he ever thought he could have. Still, the practical part of his mind keeps telling him that, with both choices open to her, she opted to give a kiss over a promise. He would be foolish to expect too much. 

And he is right in that. Kira rests her forehead against his, and when she speaks her voice is the softest that he has ever heard it. That does nothing to ease the hurt of her words. "We still have so much to do, Damar. We can't do it and have this."

And he knows that she's right. Still, it makes him ache. "That's not a no."

"It's not", Kira agrees, reaching up for one last kiss. "It's just a not now."

He swallows hard. "You don't mind?" It hurts his pride to ask, but he needs to know. To be wanted - loved? - unwillingly would be intolerable.

Kira shakes her head. "No. Not anymore. I don't know how to feel about not minding, but I know I don't."

The response is both cryptic and clear - entirely her. Damar instantly treasures it.

They take his personal transport to her ship. The whole way there, he tries to think of something to say to her, something to clear the way for them going forward. But he said all of his words at dawn, and there is nothing left. So he watches her instead: her huge dark eyes widening at the sight of various building projects through the windows, her delicate mouth softening into a smile at the Cardassian children on their way to school. He will try to hold on to this for as long as he can.

She squeezes his hand, just once, before she embarks. Damar watches her go, and for one insane moment he wonders what would happen he called out to her and offered to go with her instead. But even the idea is impossible. And since she will not disrespect either of them by making promises that cannot be kept, he knows that he can only do the same.

***

The news of Bajor's admission to the Federation comes shortly after Damar is re-elected to his third term in office. He is deeply relieved. He has already decided not to run again; Cardassia needs new blood and there are many young officials in his party who he believes have the vision and drive to bring the world forward. But representing Cardassia at Bajor's entrance ceremony is one duty he had hoped to undertake before retiring, and he's glad he'll have the chance to do it.

Earth is every bit as beautiful as Damar remembers it being from the last time he was here, to sign the papers pledging Cardassia and the Federation into their current alliance. Yes, the sun is a little overly bright and not as warm as it should be despite all the light. And the air is drier than it has any reason to be. But the planet is clean, lush and prosperous, and on this particular occasion Starfleet headquarters is bustling with happiness.

Then he answers the door of his temporary quarters to a visitor who arrives hours earlier than expected. And the beauty of the whole planet is immediately rendered limp and wan by comparison.

Kira's hair is longer than it was the last time he saw her. She is able to twist it up into a sort of bun now. There are the tiny beginnings of fine lines beside her dark eyes, and a single gray streak at her left temple matches the gray of her General's uniform with an accidental perfection.

A long time ago, he'd been baffled by Gul Dukat's obsession with this woman but now the only thing that confuses him is his own previous confusion. Kira does not fulfill any standards of Cardassian beauty. She is pale and small and smooth-skinned. But she's undeniably the loveliest thing on this unrelenting lovely planet.

He sighs. "It's so good to see you."

She smiles in return. " I hope you don't mind my dropping by early. The meetings were… well… you know meetings. There really wasn't even much to discuss. We hammered everything out beforehand. It was just a lot of congratulations, and I'd rather skip that."

He replicates her a raktajino and they sit side by side on the ludicrously soft Federation furniture. Their legs and shoulders brush, and he has to force himself to concentrate. "So you just walked out? Not a great start to your career as an ambassador." He'd been so pleased for her when she'd told him about her appointment, but he can't resist teasing her about it now. "I hear there are a lot of meetings involved."

She grimaces. "I know. But I won't be doing it forever. A few years, I think. To make sure Bajor is secure in the Federation and to ease the transition in. After that point, the role will become pretty much ceremonial. And I'm not all that interested in that."

It made sense. "And then what?" He could easily see her as First Minister, if she had an eye for politics. Failing that, there are likely to be no limits to how high she could rise in the military.

But she simply shrugs. "I'm not sure." She draws a deep breath and he realizes for the first time that she is nervous. "I was actually hoping that we could talk about that."

Damar does not consider himself an especially unintelligent man, but it takes him a distressingly long moment to understand the meaning behind what she is saying. When he finally does, his heart leaps into his throat. It must show on his face; Kira laughs beside him, that girlish giggle of hers still so at odds with the hardened soldier part of her. "Yes", he says, not even bothering to feel embarrassed by the eagerness in his voice. He has tried so hard not expect anything but her company on this trip, but he has never been able to stop himself from wanting. "Yes, I would like that very much."

When they kiss this time, it's harder and more passionate than the first one they shared all those years earlier. Damar cups her face with both hands, keeping her close. He feels his blood grow hot, and his body responding to her. This is a kiss that can hint at a future, now that their futures may finally be their own to chart.

Damar privately marvels, not for the first time, at all the unexpected gifts that Bajor has brought into his life. Then he takes Kira Nerys's hand in his and lifts it to his lips. His heart soars as she settles her head against his shoulder, and together they begin to plan how to change everything one more time.


End file.
